Another New Year is coming and everyone is getting set to make their New Year’s
Resolutions. Looking back at the last year of unmet expectations, missed goals,
and neglected resolutions the first of the year signifies a clean slate and a chance
to start over. I’m not sure why the 1st of the year seems to signify this great turning
point of change. Maybe it’s because you have to get a new calendar and the physical turning of the page is the metaphorical signifier that change is coming. Or
seeing the number of the year change and reflecting on what was and how fast life
is going by clicks something in your brain that change needs to happen before it is
too late jump starts you to make those resolutions. Whatever the reasons are, any
or all of the above, everyone is on board with this change/resolution train and as
the days tick closer to the first of January that train is at full speed ahead with no
stopping in sight.
Since I can remember I loved making New Year’s Resolutions. I would write them
down in a journal, on note cards, sticky notes or a planner that I would carry
around with me year round to remind myself of those goals. I would get so excited,
I would try to arrange them perfectly and map out exactly how I wanted them to
read and be as detailed as possible with the end result. My favorite part was
checking off each box as I completed a resolution or goal. It gave me a little thrill
of accomplishment.
Yet, every year I would find myself in that same spot. The statistic is that most
resolutions are forgotten or given up on within 6 weeks. I would at least make it a
few months, even 6 months, but eventually at some point I could never fulfill all of
my resolutions. One resolution I have had for years is publishing my book. I
promised myself earlier this year, that this year would be the year. I would finally
publish my book by the end of the year. And here we are with no book published.
While I am tempted to beat myself up about it I know that it won’t do me any good.
That is when I came to realize that making resolutions doesn’t work. I know, that statement is a bold statement, but a couple years back I noticed many
successful entrepreneurs weren’t doing resolutions and in fact were choosing a
word of the year. Initially I thought that didn’t make any sense and I would never
give up on my resolutions. I needed them to guide my life, give me purpose for the
upcoming year, and I needed that fulfillment of checking each one off the list. After
years of failed attempts to complete these resolutions and failing, I realized how
right they were.
You may feel like I do so let me give you 5 reasons as to why
resolutions do not work:
- You can never fulfill all of your resolutions in one year. I know, you’re going to
argue with me on this but let me explain. Let’s say you decide to lose 20 pounds
this year and you do it. First off, that’s awesome! It takes a lot of discipline to
become healthy, and there’s your answer right there. You will need to continue that discipline in the years to come. Losing 20 pounds isn’t a one and done thing, it is a lifestyle change. Resolutions are only a jump start to lifelong goals. Get out of the mindset of an end game and realize it’s a life game. - It’s discouraging to miss your goals and you are apt to give up. Essentially you feel like a failure and tell yourself, “Oh well I will just wait until next Monday, next month, next year. The first isn’t some magical date that says you have the right to start over. If you mess up today, you can start again tomorrow! Don’t let your mistakes dictate your future and push back the date of completing those resolutions you want.
- You miss the milestones that deserve celebrating. There are milestones or goals within resolutions that you should celebrate that aren’t on your resolution list that you should be proud of. Let’s take the goal of losing 20 pounds. Let’s say you only lose 10 but you have changed your lifestyle like giving up soda, or you are eating cleaner now and your blood pressure has gone down. That wasn’t on your list but it is something to celebrate. This leads me to my next point.
- Resolutions are outcomes. If you focus on the outcome you won’t notice the progress you make. People expect to reach their resolutions by the end of the year, and don’t get me wrong, a goal with an end date is important, but if you are so stuck on that, you will get discouraged when you don’t reach it in time. Look back and see the progress you’ve made and the person you are becoming. A quote I read in “Atomic Habits” says that even if you make a 1% change every day, you have still grown 360% in year. Be proud of that achievement instead of reaching an end goal.
- Resolutions can be ambiguous. You want to lose a certain amount of weight,
become debt free, make more money, or become a better person, but what
does that actually mean to you? Why do you want to lose weight? Why
do you want to become debt free and make more money? Why do you want to become a better person? The real answers lie in the truth behind those questions.
You want to lose weight because you want to live a long and healthy life. You want to become debt free and make more money so you can set yourself and your family up for a better life without the stress of debt and money dictating your life. You want to become a better person because you want to make an impact on this world. There are reasons behind your resolutions but if you just make it this vague goal with no thought behind the reason, you will never
truly make the change you want or need in your life because you don’t have the
right motivation.
This is why I like the concept of choosing a word for the year. It is something that can be applied to everything in your life for the upcoming year and it can become a lifestyle change. This is something you have to think or pray about to see what applies to your life. It is something easy to remember and you don’t need notecards to carry it everywhere with you. You can apply it to multiple facets of your life and have it be the dictating force that guides you.
For instance, my word of the year is “Finish”. There are many things in my life I have started but never finished, so this word applies not only to the publishing of my novel, but also to keeping up with my website and newsletter. Publishing content my readers would want to read. Continuing my healthy lifestyle. Setting boundaries with people and implementing changes I promised to my children. This word can apply to so many other parts of my life and when I feel like slacking in an area, I can remember this word “finish” and know I need to keep going.
So, are you like me and you love making resolutions? Do you agree with my thought process or have resolutions worked great for you? Have you thought about making your own word of the year? If you have one I would love to hear about it! Let me know in the comments below.
Either way, I wish you a happy, healthy New Year filled with blessings and that
whatever your goals are for the upcoming year, I wish you much success in achieving them and I can’t wait to celebrate with you.
