It is a beautiful thing to witness someone celebrating someone else’s success. It’s as if their excitement matches the person who is celebrating. That feeling of hoping and wishing the best for someone and seeing it fulfilled is unparalleled. It feels like you are experiencing that win with them. Receiving it feels just as great and you feel honored to have someone join you on your journey for hitting that goal and you want to share your joy even more with them.
Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen all the time. I have experienced more times than I care to count of people not celebrating with me. It is a hurtful and frustrating thing, especially when it comes from the person, or people, you expect to celebrate the loudest with you. Finding out later that someone was bad mouthing you behind your back or expressing their non belief in your ability to get where you want to go, is heart breaking. Even worse, in my opinion, is when they are indifferent in supporting you. Responding with an “Oh that’s nice” then moving on with their day. In fact, these responses derailed my forward progress and almost made me want to quit what I was doing.
Then there are the people you don’t know. The “haters” that hate on you for no reason in particular (especially those online trolls). I experience this going to the gym. I love to kick box and I am part of an online kickboxing community with an awesome trainer who mixes martial arts workouts with weight lifting, cardio training, stretching, and many other workouts. I love the kickboxing portion, especially when I get to use my stress reliever the heavy bag (you can read about it on my previous post “Heavy Bag Fridays“). But when I tell you that I have received stares, glares, eye rolls, whispers behind my back, and even people laughing and mocking me (they forget there are mirrors everywhere), it happens often, especially when I’m shadow boxing, and using 2 lb hand weights instead of hitting a bag. I have avoided going to the gym to avoid the stares. It sucks.
One day in particular I didn’t want to go the gym and my husband asked why. When I told him that I didn’t feel comfortable doing the type of workout I planned on doing in front of other people at the gym, he rolled his eyes and said “Ivette you need to get over that. If it makes you happy who cares what they think? They aren’t on your workout journey, and like I’ve said before someone else’s opinion doesn’t pay your bills”. I rolled my eyes at such annoying wisdom from the hubby. But when he left to enjoy his workout at the gym I realized how right he was (shhh don’t tell him I said he was right!).
It still isn’t easy to go to the gym and do my kickboxing workouts but if I want to be a healthier me and actually enjoy my workout while getting the most out of it, I need to get over it and go. Currently I’m going early in the morning to avoid the crowds (we’re talking 4:30-5 am). Baby steps. Not caring what other people think is a goal of mine.
Continuing the Conversation
Do you care too much about what other people think? Is there something you want to do but are afraid of what people will say? Or have you tried something, maybe even succeeded at it, and there were people who hated on you or didn’t celebrate with? Maybe you’re trying to build something right now and no one wants to support you?
I’m here to tell you that not everyone will celebrate you and that’s ok. Like my husband said to me, people’s opinions don’t pay your bills, but they also don’t fill that empty void inside of you that is begging you to fulfill your purpose. That dream of yours won’t be accomplished on the backs of people’s opinions, whether good or bad. It’s up to us (you and I) to put in the work and celebrate our wins, even if we are the only ones dancing to the success of our own songs. Do it anyway and when you celebrate those small or big wins, let me know about it by commenting below, or emailing me. I will celebrate with you….genuinely celebrate!